Lenora Wesley {A Shining Light In The Woods}

Around 3am on March 29th, 2016, I had the INSANE urge to pee. Not the same kind that I’d had for 41 weeks prior, but the urge that if I didn’t book it to the bathroom STAT, Corey made need to start building an ark for the next flood.

Niagra falls came bursting forth, and from the porcelain throne I brought forth a scream for thine husband to inform him that my water had indeed, broke.

Corey called my midwife, and she got on the phone with me to check my emotional state. I just calmly said “welp, I’m fine! Nothing’s happening”. She said to call her again when things got rolling, but to try and rest until then.

I went back into bed, and definitely couldn’t sleep because I IMMEDIATELY had my first contraction. I grabbed the night stand so forcefully, that I almost brought it into bed with me. A few more happened, and then Corey asks “should we be timing these”? Neither of us were in the state of mind to remember the details, ya feel?

He timed the following two contractions, and I was already at the 4-1-1 call your midwife ASAP time. Corey called her, and she said she was on her way.

Upon arrival, she checked me and I was already dilated to 9cm… um, okay, WHAT?!

She called my other midwife and said “you need to get here now”.

Can we pause for a second and talk about Corey? My man never left my side. Not even when I squeezed his knees so hard I bruised them, or when I wouldn’t let anyone touch me, or when I was cutting off circulation in his hand. He knew me well enough to just be present, and not say anything. He was there, comforting me by just his being. He knew I was afraid of what was happening, and he stood within that fear for both of us.

The other midwife arrived shortly after the call, and things had kind of “died off”, if you can even say that. I laid down, holding tightly to Corey’s hands, and we slept for maybe 20 minutes.

I woke up to the most excruciating, indescribable, mind-wiping pain. It was go-time.

After 45 minutes of intense labor, multiple pushes, a lot of F words, and multiple “I can’t do this”, she shot out of my vagina like a freshly plunged toilet flush.

I flipped over to just lay down, and this 7lb, 14oz miniature human was immediately placed on my chest. There was a lot of talking and moving of blankets and towels, but I was in a fog. I honestly don’t even remember one word, or anything that happened.

Lenni laid on my chest for a bit, and something happened that you may be surprised to read….

Nothing happened.

I felt nothing except excruciating pain. I had this baby on my bare chest, who wasn’t even cognizant of what was happening either. We were just staring at whatever caught our gaze, and just existed.

I remember my midwife explaining what Lenni’s first poop would be like, and then realizing that that poop now existed all over my body. I then remember her being taken off of my chest so that we both could clean up and then…

This is where she ended up for the next few minutes…

Granted, she looks like a chubby old man with a receding hairline, but this picture will forever be how I remember the longest 5 hours of my life.

8:19am, Lenora Wesley Calvert was born at our home in Denver, Colorado. She was born to two VERY terrified parents, who were still(are still) trying to figure out how to be an adult, let alone parents. The overwhelming rush of love and emotions towards her didn’t happen right away, and I used to shy away from admitting that truth. Now, I realize, that it takes a lot for both Corey and I to give selfless love to anyone, and it doesn’t come naturally. We hadn’t figured that out, but now, I can say that I think we both have a better idea of what that looks like.

Bubby, Bugs, Lenni Wes, Lenora Wesley. You are truly the definition of your name, “A Shining Light In The Woods”. You give brightness where there may be darkness. You bring hope when discouragement exists. You turn three in twenty-six minutes, and I am just overwhelmed with the love and emotion I didn’t know existed on that first day.

Happy birthday my sweet girl. You are the perfect addition to this family of three.